Life is beautiful and terrifying and wonderful and terrible. Sometimes it can be all those things at once. But whatever it is, I know that it leaves holes in all of us. Sometimes those holes are deep, and one has to wonder how they will ever fill them...others are shallow and scar over quickly. I think that we all search for that something that will heal us. It could simply be a smile from a loved one or a really great day or even a new spiritual path. No matter what it is, we all have our ways of coping. But for those of us who feel things more deeply than others, how do you fill those holes. As an empath, how do you block things out when you are doing extreme archaeology in your deep hole?
I write this because I know we all go through this. All empaths certainly do and there are some days when all the grounding and chanting and candle burning and cleansing in the universe will not help. I have read that true em-paths often struggle with this and that some days it's best for them to stay in bed. While I can appreciate that, I am far to busy to be able to do that. Sometimes I lose myself in creative pursuits and that seems to help a lot, but at the end of the day, it does not take the feeling away. Now, don't get me wrong here, I love what I am. I love that I am able to help others and I love that I am easy to talk to, but there is a huge downside and it might be one that you never think of, I certainly didn't, and it's loneliness. I have gotten very good at walking my path,(I often walk it alone), so very good at helping others and taking care of negative energy that one day I turned around and I realized that I desperately need to talk and there is no one there who really understands. And let me say, I have a wonderful husband who loves me, but he has a hard time understanding what is going on with me for many reasons. The main one being he is not an empath himself. But he is a wonderful support to me and I love him so.
The path of an empath is indeed very lonely. We don't like being in crowded rooms as there are too many emotions to steer clear of. We feel things so deeply that it gets us into trouble sometimes because we often can't control our emotions. People often don't understand us and because we tend to distance ourselves, think we are standoffish, or worse yet, fake. We carry a bit of extra weight...I have read that its to shield us, but who the heck knows if that's true. We are sensitive to a fault as well. I have trouble watching sappy or disturbing movies, commercials or listening to some music. Reading blogs and emails can be difficult. I often need moments of quiet to steady my mind and ground daily. It makes normal life difficult. Thank goodness I am an artist at heart. I have lived a normal reality most of my life and it almost killed me. That's not being dramatic, that's truth. I had a very hard time coping and it makes having a normal job difficult. Now, here's the part where I vent. It's hard! It's frustrating! I feel so much sometimes and lately it has gotten worse. I have read recently that many of us are feeling this together. I try to find comfort in that.
One of my favorite authors, Laurell K. Hamilton wrote recently in her blog that, "True faith is a path filled with many stones and thorns, because it is not the easy road that makes a warrior." She posted that on a day when I needed to hear it and no truer words were ever spoken. I saved this statement and I look to it often for wisdom and a reminder that I am not alone. (Which I am never truly, she is always with me)
So, to my like minded friends...to my spiritual friends...how do we cope when life grabs us by the shoulders and yanks us around a bit? How do we fill the destiny of our path? How do we balance our Karma? How do we ask the Goddess to take us by the hand, even just for a moment, and share her wisdom?
I wrote this for many reasons, sympathy not being one of them. Mostly, I felt compelled to write this for anyone else out there in the universe that feels the same way or lonely tonight. To you, whoever you are...You are not alone.
To the Goddess- Thank you for your constant. As within...so without. Blessed Be!
Saturday, June 28, 2014
View from the bridge over the Hudson-
Peebles Island State Park
Sometimes a diary of a photographer is just that, the diary of my day. I was out for a walk early last evening because the weather was just so beautiful. I have been stuck in doors too much as of late and last night, I just wanted to break free. So, I headed out to my usual walking spot and this is what I saw. Pretty view if I do say so myself. I love being out this time of the day because the light is just amazing. The sky is just so blue and the sun sets on the water...It's a pretty great sight! I am so blessed and I never feel it more, than when I am out in this light and nature. It's just a wonderful thing!
On another note, the store is starting to take shape now. Getting a lot of my inventory ordered and painting will start next week. I will keep you all up to date on the happenings. Also, I had my first official hanging this week! That was pretty exciting. A big shout out to Robin and Sue and Robins Shining Shears for having me!
Wishing you all a lovely weekend and a happy holiday week.
Artfully Odd Photos
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Well, June is almost over and it's been a busy one for us! I know that when we were in the midst of this horrible winter, I was begging summer to arrive...now that it has, I want it to slow down. I want to enjoy it. I want to have fun afternoons that I can dream of fondly when there is 3 feet of snow outside! So if the summer ferries are listening, please hear my plea. Let these days stretch into sun filled days packed with fun as we endeavor to get back to nature. It's funny that we forget during the dark months, that nature sustains us. It breaths new life back into us and grounds us with an energy that is all around. If you close your eyes and clear your mind right now, you can feel it. Go ahead...try it. Just close your eyes and let your mind go. There...feel that? That gentle hum? That's it! That one feeling, is for me, the reassurance that we are all connected and tied to the earth. So remember to get out and enjoy these days. Walk barefoot through the grass. Play in the sand at the beach. Lay down and cloud watch...Enjoy! Let Mother Nature know how much she means to you! VIVA Summer!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
I wish I were camping right now! There is something about sitting under the stars with the smell of wood smoke in the air! Something about roasting marshmallows until they are burnt and telling scary stories with a flashlight under your chin. Yes, it sounds pretty relaxing right about now. Now here is the question of the day...Tent, camper or rent a cabin? I think they all have their merits, but let's break them down.
Tent: I have only been camping in a tent a couple of times. The first time, it rained the whole time we were out there and I did not like it one bit. The second time the weather was good, but there is just something about a tent that leaves me feeling exposed. If you are in a place where bears tend to roam free, (which we usually were when I went camping as a child), a tent just doesn't feel secure. Having said all of that, I would be willing to try it again. Buzz and I have been talking about doing just this recently.
Camper: Now this is the way I camped for most of my childhood. My grandparents had several as well as camper shells on trucks. The last one my grandparents had was just short of a palace on wheels. Complete with a full shower and a fireplace. I am well versed in staying in a camper and perhaps, this is why a tent never feels right to me. I have very fond memories of camping with my family. Cooking outdoors, sitting around the fire, going to bed smelling of wood smoke and and s'mores. The table actually folding down into a bed!! Yea, it was pretty awesome and as a kid, I was mesmerized! This is an option that Buzz and I have been talking about too for a lot of reasons. We have friends who sold their house and most of their stuff a year ago. They packed up the rest and hit the road. They have settled in a place now, found jobs and such, but they have the freedom of no house payments and lower monthly costs. Now that our daughter has graduated, we have talking about this option a lot. It's still a ways off, but getting the camper soon, could be on our horizon. Oh, and your safe from bears...did I mention that?
Cabin: I have done this numerous times. There really isn't much downside to this option. Everything is provided for you, you have running water sometimes and you are safe from all things the woods can throw at you except for maybe, spiders and of course, fire! LOL! (No really...the spider thing really happened to us and we woke up to a scene liken to the the one in The Great Outdoors! Yes, there was screaming! Yes, I did run around like a mad woman begging for Buzz to get them off of me! Ahh, nature!) This could be a short term option for us, as we live in an area where there are many available to rent. This might just be the option we go with.
Have plans to camp this summer? Let's share :) This is bound to be a great summer!
Hope you had a great weekend!