Busy Summer & Other Stuff

So sorry, I know it has been a bit since I posted here. This summer has been incredibly busy for us and it does not seem to be slowing down anytime soon either. I enjoy being busy, but I must admit, I am looking forward to our vacation in October! Need a bit of downtime to recharge. How has the summer been for all of  you? I hope that this summer has brought many happy memories with your loved ones.

I have been doing a lot of writing this summer. I am happy to say, I am almost finished with the book I have been working on. I have 15 chapters done so far and expect about 5 or so more before this book is done. For the times that I have encountered writers block with the novel, I have taken to just writing whatever pops into my head. It has helped some and I think I could put all my ramblings together and make something of them....I could, lol, not sure if I will though. However, I could share one or two. Below is one of those ramblings:

Can you die of a broken heart? Can the heartache of it all reach down into parts of  your soul? Can it reach parts of you that you didn't even know you had and splinter them into jagged pieces that you cut yourself on every time you feel? These were questions that I was slowly finding out the answers to.

It had been three days since the news hit my ears and sucked all of the air out of my lungs.  Three days since the shadows darkened my vision and blurred my surroundings with tears that never seemed to dry up. The depths of this well I was in, knew no limit. What was worse was the fact that I was stuck in the past. Stuck reliving memory after painfully beautiful memory.

The current memory of choice was of a beautiful afternoon spent in a field of heather and earth. Brilliant sunshine touched all the loving faces gathered around us. With Lilly's wound in my hair and lips oh so red, I whispered, "I do."  The sunlight reflected off the darker hues of his blonde hair, I remember that it seemed to glow in the warm light.  He smiled, whispering the same and then those close to us cheered as he kissed those oh so red lips with promise. We had so much ahead of us. Wonders of a beautiful life stretched out over the path of time. 

Time...now there was a funny word. It gave you the illusion of infinity, but then slipped through your fingers like grains of sand. And just like that, everything was gone. Stolen in the middle of the night with just one phone call

(C) 2014 Anna Patten

I don't know if there is anything to this or not, but I thought I would share anyway. Maybe after my book is done, I will pick this up where I left off...

Anyway, I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend. Make sure to get out and do something fun. Go get some ice cream and sit outside in the grass. Feel the sand between your toes or the wind in your hair! Summer is fleeting and we must enjoy it while we can! 

Happy Lammas to all my Pagan friends and happy weekend to all of my friends.

Anna

A Point of View from an Empath

Life is beautiful and terrifying and wonderful and terrible. Sometimes it can be all those things at once. But whatever it is, I know that it leaves holes in all of us. Sometimes those holes are deep, and one has to wonder how they will ever fill them...others are shallow and scar over quickly. I think that we all search for that something that will heal us. It could simply be a smile from a loved one or a really great day or even a new spiritual path. No matter what it is, we all have our ways of coping. But for those of us who feel things more deeply than others, how do you fill those holes. As an empath, how do you block things out when you are doing extreme archaeology in your deep hole?

I write this because I know we all go through this. All empaths certainly do and there are some days when all the grounding and chanting and candle burning and cleansing in the universe will not help. I have read that true em-paths often struggle with this and that some days it's best for them to stay in bed. While I can appreciate that, I am far to busy to be able to do that. Sometimes I lose myself in creative pursuits and that seems to help a lot, but at the end of the day, it does not take the feeling away. Now, don't get me wrong here, I love what I am. I love that I am able to help others and I love that I am easy to talk to, but there is a huge downside and it might be one that you never think of, I certainly didn't, and it's loneliness. I have gotten very good at walking my path,(I often walk it alone), so very good at helping others and taking care of negative energy that one day I turned around and I realized that I desperately need to talk and there is no one there who really understands. And let me say, I have a wonderful husband who loves me, but he has a hard time understanding what is going on with me for many reasons. The main one being he is not an empath himself. But he is a wonderful support to me and I love him so.

The path of an empath is indeed very lonely. We don't like being in crowded rooms as there are too many emotions to steer clear of. We feel things so deeply that it gets us into trouble sometimes because we often can't control our emotions. People often don't understand us and because we tend to distance ourselves, think we are standoffish, or worse yet, fake. We carry a bit of extra weight...I have read that its to shield us, but who the heck knows if that's true. We are sensitive to a fault as well. I have trouble watching sappy or disturbing movies, commercials or listening to some music. Reading blogs and emails can be difficult. I often need moments of quiet to steady my mind and ground daily. It makes normal life difficult. Thank goodness I am an artist at heart. I have lived a normal reality most of my life and it almost killed me. That's not being dramatic, that's truth. I had a very hard time coping and it makes having a normal job difficult. Now, here's the part where I vent. It's hard! It's frustrating! I feel so much sometimes and lately it has gotten worse. I have read recently that many of us are feeling this together. I try to find comfort in that.

One of my favorite authors, Laurell K. Hamilton wrote recently in her blog that, "True faith is a path filled with many stones and thorns, because it is not the easy road that makes a warrior." She posted that on a day when I needed to hear it and no truer words were ever spoken. I saved this statement and I look to it often for wisdom and a reminder that I am not alone. (Which I am never truly, she is always with me)

 So, to my like minded friends...to my spiritual friends...how do we cope when life grabs us by the shoulders and yanks us around a bit? How do we fill the destiny of our path? How do we balance our Karma? How do we ask the Goddess to take us by the hand, even just for a moment, and share her wisdom?

I wrote this for many reasons, sympathy not being one of them. Mostly, I felt compelled to write this for anyone else out there in the universe that feels the same way or lonely tonight. To you, whoever you are...You are not alone.

To the Goddess- Thank you for your constant. As within...so without. Blessed Be!

Anna